The wedding that wasn't...

So yesterday was supposed to be my wedding day but things fell apart about 9 months ago and I had no idea it would ever get to the point where the wedding just wouldn't happen until about 3 months ago. I kept telling myself the financial situation would iron itself out but sadly, it never did.

Of course the future Hubs has been super supportive and is saying all the right things but that doesn't make it less painful. Last week, if I heard the expression "it all happens for a reason" or something along those lines, one more time, I was going to scream. Because, yes, you are stating the obvious, there's a reason behind why we didn't get married, I just don't want to be constantly reminded of it. And I certainly wasn't feeling up to hearing someone else's upbeat attitude about it. I wanted to wallow. Even if just for a little while.

I'm off the next two days because this was supposed to be our mini honeymoon so I'm sitting at home, writing a blog entry and trying to be crafty and keep my mind off things. So far, it's working alright, I guess. Ask me again tomorrow.

As for the rest of my life, I really think I need to start seeing a professional (read: therapist). I don't really have anyone to talk to so I come here and write hoping that will make me feel better. At least for now. Until, I can afford to see someone. All the anxiety/stress/depression, etc I have experienced lately is all coming to a head. I feel like I could explode at any moment and not be 100% sure of what might come out. I'm so grateful to the Future Hubs for making me laugh on a daily basis and reminding me why I want to marry him so badly. To take a quote from my "friends" lately the timing just wasn't right. For whatever reason, it just wasn't meant to be right now. It's all for the best. Cliche, cliche, cliche.

Yep, still wallowing. Okay, seriously, must stop. I'm not married, so what? We're still together, we're still in love, we still intend to get married at some point. I just really wanted to show him off to my friends and family in wear a badass dress and throw a killer party. But I guess that will have to wait until the Universe is ready. 

Is this what insomniacs do?

Odd sleep pattern the last few nights making for a bad attitude the last 24 hours. Friday night I stayed up till 2 a.m. which is highly irregular for me. Then of course my internal alarm clock wakes me at 6:30 because that's when my actual alarm clock goes off. I like the guy sleep for a bit and then we went and ran errands because in Texas in the summer you everything you can before 11 a.m. when it gets too hot to breathe. Then we stayed in the rest of the day and watched season 5 of 30 Rock. Only problem was, while it was an awesome afternoon/evening, I fell asleep at 10 p.m. thanks to the lack of sleep from the night before. Naturally this was annoying because it was Saturday night. But I just couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. And so I went to sleep.

And here I am at 9:45 a.m. on a rainy Sunday morning (yes, rain and a high in the low 80s in Texas in July, this just might be the apoloclypse). I've been up for 3 hours already and my guy is still asleep. Honestly, be probably wouldn't wake up till this afternoon  if I truly let him sleep. So here I am writing, drinking my morning coffee and just enjoying some "me" time.

In my world, "me" time is mostly spent surfing Pinterest and watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on Netflix. Anybody wanna swap recipes or talk about the best way to decorate a small apartment in NYC?

Yeah, I seriously need to make some new friends and get a life. 

Weekly Menu - July 8-13, 2013

Squishy and I have decided to get back into cooking. We go through this phase a lot but so far we've stuck with it. Today's triumph came to us from a web site I've been somewhat addicted to, Oh Bite It!

http://www.ohbiteit.com/2013/05/baked-ham-cheese-sammies.html

We didn't follow the recipe exactly and while in the end I think we wish we had, the sammimes came out pretty tasty. We didn't use the mustard or mozzarella cheese on top. We chose to use what we had available which was a CoJack blend that melted/hardened before the rest of the sandwich really had a chance to finish baking. But lesson learned. While S doesn't like mustard he said it would've helped. So when we make them again later in the week, we will try this the recipe way. 

So we're going to call this particular attempt a failumph. Half fail, half triumph. Or a better-luck-next-time. 

Can't wait to make dinner every night. See below for our intended menu (in no particular order).

Chicken Parmesan 

Mexican Penne (recipe here: http://twoboysonegirlandacrazymom.com/recipe-mexican-penne-cheap-dinner/)

English Muffin Pepperoni Pizzas

Baked Ham and Cheese Sammies (the recipe way)

Margherita Pizza (my personal favorite kind of pizza)

Chicken Enchilada Biscuits (http://www.ohbiteit.com/2013/06/enchilada-biscuits.html)

And we were able to get all of the ingredients for all of this for less than $40 and will probably have enough leftovers to last through the weekend. This is a HUGE deal for us given that for the last few months we've been going out to dinner 7 nights  week. So excited about saving money finally.

Now if we can get just S a new job, we'll be set. 

Have a great Monday everyone. It's Sunday Night Movie Time over here.

Sunday Slater Fest 2012

Today was a day to go back in time. Specifically to 1989. We're loafing around the house today watching Heathers. For anyone who knows me in reality, this isn't much of a stretch give my obsession  with all things 80's. Oddly enough, Squishy has never seen it. In fact, he'd never even heard of it.

What? This is down-right shocking to me. Who doesn't love a good Christian Slater flick? And so with that in mind, we are watching Pump Up the Volume next followed by Untamed Heart. It went from being a dark and twisty movie marathon to Slater Fest 2012. And I have no problem with this.

All we have to decide on now is the food. I made an attempt to cook last night and that had disastrous results. Despite with the Future Hubs says it was terrible. But I'm trying. I actually used to be quite the cook but given that I've had no reason to cook for the last 10 years or so, I've lost my once well-honed skills to well, time. But I'm determined to get them back.

With that in mind, we'll probably end up ordering in or something just because we're too lazy to do anything else. Besides, isn't that what Sundays are for?

Brinner, it's what grown ups do!

Tonight's dinner plans consisted of us heading over to Denny's for brinner. I ordered the Lumberjack Slam and sadly, Future Hubs decided to screw brinner altogether and order a burger. But it did have eggs on it so I guess that's kinda brinner-y. 

This group of young kids and what appeared to be a set of parents sat down next to us and I swear I overheard some seriously inappropriate talk going on over there. But hey, whatever. I was there for the brinner, it was late and I was hungry. So for once, I didn't say anything. Usually, I mutter under my breath, even that didn't happen. Maybe I'm finally growing up. 

Doubtful. But then again, it was bound to happen someday.

Life on hiatus...

The future hubs and I have decided to postpone the wedding indefinitely. We are still madly in love and have every intention of getting married at some point. We just have too many things we want to take care of before the big day. We'll get there, it just takes time. 

For now, we're basking in the glow of our engagement (yes, still). I'm still doing nightly searching on weddings sites looking at various things for the future. 

And all is right with the world. I'm in love and that's really all that matters.

Sunday, Sunday

Lovely breakfast with the FH before he heads into work. Today is a football day so pizza delivery tips should be good. Which is fantastic because we could certainly use the money.

I'm heading out shortly to do our grocery shopping. I really don't want to but it's a necessary evil. Maybe I can put it off till tomorrow. I really do hate it. Yeah, I think I'd rather stay in and watch a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy marathon on Netflix. 

I'm so lazy on Sundays and I love it.

What are you up to today?